posted on Monday, July 29, 2019
It didn’t take long to figure out that while Ed and I loved each other very deeply, we were also very different people. Being a wife of a committed coach meant I had to figure out how to do things on my own while Ed was working on his own passion (football). One thing I really appreciated about Ed, was his support and encouragement for me pursuing my own interests- even if they were not the same as his. He loved golfing when it was literally 100 degrees outside, and would golf every day in the summer. Me- not so much! I loved to work in the yard, building flower beds and my garden pond. While Ed only saw something more to mow around, he was usually encouraging and sometimes even helped! I also tried to be supportive and do everything I could to help him achieve his own dreams and passions. We each could let the other person enjoy their own activities and/or friends, without feeling threatened or rejected.
As years passed, I learned that his strengths and weaknesses were very different from mine! Ed loved to talk to people publicly and was energized by the relationships he formed through football and teaching. He was very Type A and liked structure and order. I, on the other hand, DO NOT enjoy public speaking. I tend to be a little more laid back and have a “go with the flow” attitude. While Ed was very much NOT handy with fixing and making, I am project and task-driven and love creating and fixing.
God created us to be very different, but those differences tended to enhance and balance our relationship. We each found our roles as we created our family unit even if they weren’t the “traditional” roles of who does what. I also believed that God, in His wisdom, specifically put us together, and it helped me become a strong and capable person with abilities and interests of my own, apart from ours as a couple.
While I miss Ed every single day, and losing him has not been easy, I am grateful that God gave me the life lessons I needed so I could find my new normal and be OK.
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love, Honor one another above yourselves."
Romans 12:9-10
Challenge:
Relationships aren't always easy or 50-50. It takes 100% by both partners to succeed. No one is perfect, no relationship is perfect, but by putting your loved one above yourself- you both will thrive!
With love and thanks,
Jan Thomas